• s a n c t u a r y •

[Shadowsoul]

Shadowstalker sat in the corner of the warehouse, smile on his face, eyes wide with pure insanity.
Mother... do you see me now? He chuckled darkly, hostility on the edge of his laughter giving his voice a strange shrill feel about it's vibrations. It echoed off the empty walls of the place that clouded the black tom in darkness; he felt one with the shadows that were enveloped him, casting him away into a world of nothing but oblivion, destruction, and death. Despite all of the open arms he was given, when he was alone it was when he truly felt at home - he truly felt like he could let the insanity that tugged at his heart every waking moment of the day loose and control his body, his personality changing into that of a literal demon.
Shadowstalker's blue eyes looked around jerkily, the muscles tugging their sighs back and forth. He didn't know if he was scared or simply crazy. It was a possible deadly concoction of the two. He lifted up a paw and one of his claws slid out; he started to carve strange markings into the wall, it's pattern being delicately chosen and extremely precise, but yet a messy doodle all in it's own way and perception. Small streaks of moonlight beamed through the cracks of the worn down building, casting down random spotlights of pale-blue fire. The darkness tugged at the soul of the helpless tom, driving him farther and farther into the horrid madness. His fangs clacked together inside of his own mouth and pretty soon, he started to bite his own tongue, a small amount of blood pooling in his mouth. It slid down his throat as he greedily swallowed the substance, it's iron taste making him shudder with disgust and giddy laughter all at the same moment.
What do you think of me? He looked up, blue eyes seeming bright compared to the dull moonlight shining upon him in the small, isolated corner or his new-found sanctuary.

[Shadow//SƬΛŔ]

Shadowstep stepped silently as she always did, her fur and even her grey eyes blending into the shadows. She sighed with content. She liked being part of a clan but there were too many cats, she couldn’t be alone to think. She kept to the shadows and eventually came to the Warehouse, a dark mysterious place full of the shadow’s she loved. She smiled and quickly climbed up a tree that one branch went into a small window on the warehouse and climbed in. “Playtime…” she said softly. She stalked through the shadows, keeping low and hidden. Her grey eyes glowing only the slightest, the only thing that might have been seen of the black she-cat. She stalked and caught a few mice, but soon her game became a bore… until she heard something scratching on the wall and teeth clattering together. She slunk through shadows till she got to where the noise was the loudest and saw a pair of bright blue eyes. Oh so this is the other Shadow. she said. Someone in MoonClan said to her now there were two Shadow’s instead of one. “Ssssssshaaaaadooooow…” she called softly, creeply.

[Shadowsoul]

The smile that had been plastered on his face suddenly faded at the sound of somebody else. Slowly and slightly jerkily, he turned to meet them with the coldest gaze that he didn't even mean to muster.
"Get away." He simply snapped, his form starting to wreck with laughter once more. "I'll kill you." He got up to his paws and turned to her, a large smile stretching from ear to ear, eyes wide with insanity. He swayed back and forth, a small amount of blood coming out of his mouth from the wound on his tongue that he had simply caused himself.

"I haven't killed in such a long time," He muttered, starting to star up at her with huge eyes. He was frowning, but the noises coming out of him were sheer, giddy laughter. It bounced off of the walls, coming back to the ears a faint, second time. Shadowstalker looked up, not taking his crystallized gaze away from her. The way that his eyes simply glowed in the moonlight seem to only portray more and more of this never ending madness that was constantly tugging and pulling him deeper and deeper into his own world of pure oblivion.

"It would be nice to feel blood on my paws again - Did you know that blood is really warm despite how thick your coat may be?" He asked, preparing to jump up into the loft, his smile returning to him. He jumped up on a crate that looked like it was about to literally collapse - a cat in their right mind would haven't have done such thing. But, somehow, it held and Shadowstalker jumped up into the loft, not even a few tail lengths away from the she-cat now.

[Shadow//SƬΛŔ]

“Yes I know.” She said taking a step back and disappearing into the shadows, her eyes were cold and not glowing anymore. “But the most fun part before killing is the stalking, striking fear into an enemy’s heart before you even do anything. Do you know the thrill of that? The thrill of blending into the shadow’s so well you can become one?” she asked, she could almost feel his insanity washing off on her. She was excited not scared like a sane cat would be, and she was loving every minute of it. “Wanna play, SSSSSSSShaaaaaaaaaaadooooooooow?” she asked in a hiss. “Wanna see who can find who first?” she asked, she closed her grey eyes then even they disappeared, she silently moved back farther in the shadow, her steps unnoticeable, even by the creaky wood, not a sound happened as she moved.

[Shadowsoul]

The sound of a challenge sparked his interest and his smile died down a little and his eyes seemed to grow dull.
"Of course," He answered, backing up and almost dissolving into a shadow behind him. "Striking surprise is the best part, you know." He backed up to the wall, the sound of his breathing seeming to stop. He wallowed happily in the pain that his lungs were in from lack of air, his head light headed. Finally, he left out a small, noiseless sigh.
I've been alone for so long, He thought, not even needing to look around. That I know what it's like to have others around me. He suddenly lunged from the spot that he was and pinpointed the she-cat while in midair.

Shadowstalker fell on top of her, pinning her down with his paws on her shoulders. He stared into the gray, shocked eyes with his bright blue eyes, smirking darkly. Thankfully, the insanity that he had was starting to fade. He was extremely thankful.

"I win." He muttered quietly backing off and sitting in front of her. He pulled his paw up to his mouth and drew his tongue over it a few times before actually looking back at her. He chuckled lightly as the sight of her still in shock from behind found.
"I've been alone all of my life." He stated, putting his paw back on the ground silently. "Having somebody around feels odd. I was able to pinpoint your location by sensing the head coming off of you. When I'm alone it's cold all around, but when cats are around, it's like they almost hold a pile of pure warmth inside of them. It's easy to use once you understand." He told her a small smile on his face.


"Don't look up at me like that," He growled quietly at the way she looked up at him with irritation for being beaten. "It's highly annoying." He suddenly turned to the wall and started to draw little doodles with his claws again.
"I'm Shadowstalker." He muttered, the madness - at the moment - subsided.

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[Shadow//SƬΛŔ]

She stood up and cleaned the dust off of her fur. “Oh I know what it’s like. But I like being alone, all the fake friendly warmth drives me mad… well madder than I already am.” She said then started cleaning her chest. Her ears flickered when she heard his name. Shadowstalker… cool she thought. She straightened up and looked at him, her grey eyes glowing again. “I’m Shadowstep.” She said, she was proud of her name, she was proud that she was a warrior but she still hated being surrounded by a clan all the time. She liked being alone with her thoughts, her thoughts were usually filled with insanity, especially after watching her mother getting squished by a monster about 7 moons ago. The scene played behind her eyes, but she pushed it away by thinking of the black tom before her. Pretty eyes… she thought looking at them.

[Shadowsoul]

Shadowstalker looked at the ground of the building for a moment, seemingly infatuated with it. His shoulders shook a little with the small amount of laughter that was building up. He looked up, a small, sad smile on his face. His blue eyes were filled with pure agony from the reel of memories repeating itself behind the bright, blue orbs.
"There is a difference between alone," He started to speak, his voice soft and airy. "and purely alone." The claws on his right paw unsheathed themselves and he clawed at the floor, scowling with pain.

"I long for acceptance even though you may not. Every time I try it seems as thought I'm just cast away farther into the depths of being truly alone." He admitted, letting his head hang low on his dead neck. It hung limp against his shoulders, his legs shaking a little. His eyes burned behind themselves.

"Shadow," The small, black kit heard the words of his mother behind him. He turned around, and let out a small sob when he saw the she-cat. Shadow hopped to his feet and ran to his mother, nuzzling against her leg. He sniffled and looked up, huge blue eyes filled with tears and child-like sorrow.
"Mama, I can't catch the mouse!" He sniffled against and cried into Petal's leg.
"It's alright, baby." She chuckled at the reason for his tears and pressed her nose to the crown of his head. "You just have to keep trying. You're going to grow up just like your father and be the best hunter in the forest!"
"R-Really, Mama?" Shadow looked up, a hopeful smile on the kit's face.
"Really." The jet black she-cat looked into the same eyes that she and her son shared.

And I still can't hunt.

"Everybody I care about is torn away from me." Shadowstalker muttered, trying not to sound hurt as he turned around again and continued his permanent drawings into the wooden wall that was slowly starting to rot away thanks to the conditions of the weather and how old the place was. Pretty soon, the warehouse wasn't even going to be here at all.
"I'm scared to create friends."

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[Shadow//SƬΛŔ]

“And you think I’m not? There’s a reason why I isolate myself, why I don’t let people get close to me, a reason why I’m always alone.” She said, almost hissing. “I don’t want to ever, ever feel the pain of losing someone I love and care for again! I don’t want to watch people who I like die in front of my eyes again!” She didn’t realize it but she was starting to yowl.
“I may say I want to be alone but no one in their right… or messed up minds would want to be alone.” She said her voice soft again. She closed her eyes and that one horrible memory that always played in her mind popped back up.

“Mother, I think I might go to a clan to see if they’ll take ma as a warrior. Cause of the stories you told me I know the Warrior Code by heart.” She said to the black and white she-cat next to her. “Shadow, is you want to be a warrior, you must have a warrior name. So from now on call yourself Shadowstep, and hopefully StarClan will accept you as a warrior.” Sasha said smiling at her daughter. “Mother come with me. I’m sure they’ll accept you too. You can be an elder… and tell kit’s all the stories you’ve told me.” She said smiling at her mother turning her head slightly. They were in the middle of the Thruderpath, Shadow felt the ground shaking and looked up to see a monster come thundering over a hill. Shadow dashed to safty then turned hoping to see her mother behind her, but Sasha was still in the middle of the road, and then the monster was on her. Shadow’s mind broke, and left her alone yowling in the blackness.

“I hate being alone, I hate it so much… but I can’t get close to people, people who I can lose.” She said, tears fell down her face from her closed eyes.

[Shadowsoul]

"I don’t want to watch people who I like die in front of my eyes again!"

Shadowstalker suddenly whipped around, his crystal eyes wide. His mouth was open slightly in shock and his expression suddenly turned soft. He let out a small chuckle.
"I guess we're not as different as I thought." He knew that after he said that, he owed this she-cat a good explination. Shadowstalker took in a deep breath and looked straight into the gray-colored eyes that Shadowstep owned.

"I'm not one to talk about this, so listen up." He snapped sternly, settling himself into a sitting position, his head hanging slightly low from the pain of the past.
"When I was a kit, my mother cared everything for me - my father too." He muttered softly, only wishing that was where the story ended. "We had a nice patch of land with a stream and plump mice and a lot of birds," He smiled at the memories of the sun glistening down on his back pelt and himself as a kit rolling throughout the herb-smelling grass. "but to get to the stream there was a road - a thunderpath as you call it - in the way." The black tom took in a shaky breath and let it out in another rush of words.

"We were crossing it one day when I was still just a kit... And we weren't paying attention... And a car - a monster - was heading for us. The left tire was heading straight for me. The only thing I remember at that point is the fear of losing my life and being torn away from my mother and father." His claws unsheathed as he felt the back of his eyes burning once again, tears threatening to spill like they would normally do when he was alone. He had always managed to keep them in; Shadowstalker had never cried once in his life.
"My mother, Petal, knocked me out of the way and got hit instead. She died not long after. I remember her as she looked up at me as if to tell me she loved me one last time." The black tom gritted his teeth.

"Since it was to save me, my father blamed me for most of it. He never treated me the same then one day brought me here. I was abandoned by him and havn't seen him since." He sighed with relief once the story was finally complete.

You idiot. He told himself shamefully.

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[Shadow//SƬΛŔ]

Her eyes widened as she heard his story, so horribly like her own, except hers happened only 7 moons ago and made her lose her mind. She chuckled then laughed and almost started rolling around with hysterical laughter. “Who knew there was another Shadow who lived almost exactly like me… except I never knew my father, my mother hated my father, the only reason I was born is because my father was a rapist. But my mother loved me, her only kit out of a litter of three to live. My mother was killed instantly when the monster ran her over. I never knew what she was going to tell me.” She said lying down, now that she had gotten her laughter under control. “We were discussing joining a clan an taking a walk, we were heading over the thrunderpath when a monster came over a hill, I felt and heard it but my mother didn’t, when she finally noticed it, it was too late… “ she said. Shadowstep you idiot, frozen with fear, couldn't even warn your own mother.

[Shadowsoul]

Shadowstalker listened to the story, his ears standing straight up and his head bowed to her in respect for her pain.
"I'm sorry," He muttered, wishing he could so something - anything - to make the pain that she had go away. If he could, the black tom would take all of the sorrow, the sadness, the pain away from every cat that he knew just to let them live happily. Though he was always alone, he had a love for his kind and would jump in the way if one of them were about to be killed. But, with the madness and insanity that was always gnawing at him internally, sometimes he would take away lives that he loved.

It made it hard to live with himself.

But, lately, he hadn't been losing himself. He was utterly thankful for it, too. "Shadowstep," He looked down to her since she was now laying down. The sound of her laughter was now etched into his brain. Although it was pained and forced, it made him smile.
"I would take your pain away." He spoke sadly, his tail wrapping around his right paw. It was an odd statement to randomly say to somebody that he had just met, but it was the utter truth. "I... I really would." He dipped his head to her once more, then tom's eyes understanding and soft when he looked back up to her.
"I'm so sorry." He clenched his jaw together, looking at the ground, infatuated with it once more.

[/center]

[Shadow//SƬΛŔ]

“There is no way to take pain away… it may fade but it’s always there.” She muttered. She closed her eyes for a second then looked up at him. “And it’s you who needs pain taken away… I’ve only had mine for 7 moons you’ve had yours for a long time.” She said sitting up again. She walked over to the black tom softly pressing against his side. She had finally, finally found someone who understood her. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad having a friend… or someone to love… she thought to herself as she watched Shadowstalker’s eyes. She shook her head, trying to clear away all the pain. "Hey Shadow" She said, it felt weird saying her own name but oh well. "Wanna play again?" she asked.

[Shadowsoul]

Shadowstalker felt the black she-cat press into his side. He quickly looked up at her with expecting eyes, then smiled at the invitation.
"Of course." He suddenly reared up playfully and let out a chuckle when he pinned her down. "I win." He smirked at her expression. He purred loudly at her annoyed face and got to his paws.
"I'm fine with whatever you would like to do." It felt odd actually saying that to another cat. He had never really met somebody that was going to do something with him at all.

The black tom jumped down from the loft and landed perfectly on his feet despite the slightly long fall. He didn't mind the sharp pain that hit his paws afterward - in fact the pain made him feel almost better. Gave him the oddest sensation of actually feeling real and in existence. If pain were to not exist, then the very fragment of life would fade, too.

"I bet MoonClan's worried about us..." He sighed but then looked back, half of his face being shown. The tom had a huge smirk on his face and his blue eyes were dark and cunning. "But who cares?" He sneered, starting to slip into the shadows and out of the door of the warehouse. Once the grass hit his paws he turned around and waited for Shadowstep who wasn't far behind.

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[Shadow//SƬΛŔ]

She glared at him with annoyed filled eyes as he pinned her… AGAIN! She stood up and shook the dust off her fur again then jumped down after him and fallowed him out. “Just so you know… the second time you pinned me was only cause I wasn’t ready…” she said then faded into the shadows and started off towards the river, it should be almost frozen enough for the two can’t to walk on… as long as they didn’t jump around. “So what’cha wanna do?” she asked turning and walking backwards, grey eyes glowing. She smiled a huge smile. She had a friend… she didn’t really want to go back to camp and rune her very rare good mood.

[Shadowsoul]

What do I want to do? To be honest, Shadowstalker had never really asked himself the question. Every day, every minute, every second he was sulking and being sad. Now that he actually had somebody to share his life with he could actually choose between what he wanted to do.
And it bewildered him on how he could be so perplexed by a simple, every-day question.

"Uhh..." He muttered, following her easily since he himself could blend in with the night easily. "I would say go hunting but that's not my best category." He smirked and began to think again.

"Shadowstep," He suddenly began talking as his thoughts gripped him again. "I know you just met me, but," He looked at the ground, his blue eyes being hidden from her. "Do you think that I am a complete failure?" He suddenly asked her. It was an odd question for the happy moment, but it had been what he had thought about himself all of this time. He needed to know from another cat that he was worth something other than pure dirt.

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